Being an ex-Rage Queen, I have learned many ways to handle anger when it arises. I thought it would be helpful if I shared them with you, just in case you should ever become angry. Heh-heh.
1. Own your anger. Take responsibility for it. Understand that, even if your feelings are justified, your aggressive, snide, abusive, or sarcastic reaction is not.
2. Forgive yourself. Recognize that your anger is bringing forward some of the most valuable lessons you will ever learn, and you have an opportunity to earn your “A”. You can grade yourself if you want to. Don’t kick yourself if you get an “F”. Just keep plugging for the “A”.
3. If you must, hit something – not someone. Sometimes people need to channel anger energy aggressively. Hit your mattress, pillows, or a punching bag.
4. Instead of yelling at the object of your anger, scream into a pillow until your anger subsides.
5. Take ten deep breaths before reacting. Here’s a special technique you can use. Inhale deeply into the bottom of your lungs either through your mouth or your nose. Your stomach will rise and you will feel the air filling your lungs all the way to the top. Do not hold your breath or control your exhale or push the air out. Let your breath out naturally. It will come out almost like a sigh. Without a pause, inhale again. This is called circular breathing, and it heals physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you are doing this breath through your mouth, don’t take more than ten breaths. This is a therapeutic breath, and you might start activating deeper emotions which, in itself, is a good thing. But you would want a professional Transformational Breath facilitator to guide you through to resolution. Breathing in and out through the nose does not cause activation, and you can use this same process breathing normally whenever you are stressed.
6. Do something physical; go for a walk, work out, ride your bike, clean your house. You get the picture.
7. Cry till it doesn’t hurt any more.
8. Sing the blues – literally. Make up the words and the tune or sing your favorite blues song. Vocalizing gets the energy out.
9. Replay. If you lose control, apologize for that and leave the area. Then visualize yourself handling the situation calmly so that your needs are met. You can do this for past occurrences, as well. Practice makes perfect.
Obviously, you will do these before you react to the object of your anger. There is no rule that says you have to immediately handle what just happened. Leave the area and take care of yourself first. After you have diffused the energy, you can speak your mind calmly.
One more thing; if you are being physically abused (hit, slapped, thrown around) get out. That’s it. Out.
There’s nothing new in this list, except maybe Number 5, and you don’t have to do it that way. Regular deep breaths are also effective, as we all know. These techniques have been around forever because they work.
Seek counseling if you find that practicing these techniques is not having the effect of reducing your anger levels or the frequency of angry reactions.
Please share your experience with handling anger by leaving a comment. Other readers will be grateful learn from you.
Live your purpose every day.
- Anger Control Systems (socyberty.com)