Tag Archives: spiritual growth

You Are More Than You Think You Are

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Your Cycles – Personal Years and Personal Months

The shorter cycles of Personal Years and Personal Months tell you where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you are going, just as the longer cycles do. Since these cycles are shorter, you get a more immediate picture of the flow of your life.

Your cycles proceed in an orderly fashion whether you are aware of them or not. You don’t have to try to follow your cycles. Appropriate experiences appear before you automatically. The process is effortless. You choose whether or not to flow with your cycles. The trick is to have faith and allow yourself to go with the flow. If you find yourself traveling a bumpy road full of frustration, chances are you may be resisting the cycle you are in.

If you’re like me, and want understanding along with faith, learning about your cycles will make life easier. Since I’ve learned about my cycles I feel more secure about the present and future. In fact, I feel excited about the potential opportunities that are opening up for me.

Currently, I’m in a number 9 Personal Year, which can be challenging because it’s about ending in all its forms. Relationships may change or come to an end, jobs or certain routines can change or end, objects may be lost, attitudes can change radically, and streamlining your environment becomes important. Unpleasant endings are less upsetting for me than they were before because I know these experiences are ultimately for my good and are preparing me for the next 9-year cycle full of new opportunities.

Your Personal Year cycles are, obviously, one year in duration. They begin on your birthday and end the day before your next birthday. In reality, you sometimes begin to attract the experiences of your next Personal Year up to three months before your birthday. Here’s an earlier post about Personal Years that goes into more depth.

Knowledge of your Personal Months can enhance the experiences of your Personal Years and contribute to a strong foundation as you welcome new experiences into your life. The interpretations below apply to both Personal Years and Personal Months.

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Interpretations

Number 1:

The beginning of a new cycle, this is a time of initiating, starting new projects, making new plans, meeting new people, taking the lead, following your own instincts and intuition. Express your individuality, stand up for yourself, and establish independence. Hesitation or lack of initiative will set you back.

Number 2:

This is a time for cooperation, partnerships, working in harmony with others, and creating peace within and without. It’s a time to develop the new projects and ideas of the Number 1 period, attending to details, networking, friendship, and collaboration.

Number 3:

This is a time for branching out; social activities, self expression, promoting yourself and your projects, and creativity. It’s a time to enjoy the lighter side of life by entertaining, going out with friends, and getting involved in the creative arts. Projects involving words, such as writing, lecturing, teaching, or singing are emphasized.

Number 4:

This is a time for building, for creating routines and systems that make life easier, patiently attending to details, and creating a powerful foundation that will serve you and others for years to come. You may have high expenses. You will need to stay focused to be successful, as this is a demanding period that requires self discipline.

Number 5:

This is a period of change, freedom, movement, activity of almost any sort. It’s a time of adjusting to new conditions, expansion, and learning to let go. It can be quite an adventure. See changes as new opportunities for your growth and fulfillment.

Number 6:

This is a time when your attention will be on home, family, and health. Family responsibilities come forward at this time, and there could be changes in your home. Pay attention to your health by taking good care of yourself. You may be taking care of a family member.

Number 7:

This is usually a quiet time, as the vibration is one of introspection, study, research, regrouping, and reevaluating. It is a time of rest, meditation, and spiritual and mental housecleaning. Allow developments to unfold for you rather than trying to force them. Make sure you get enough exercise, since your head may be in the clouds much of the time, and exercise will keep you grounded.

Number 8:

This can be a dynamic time with lots of energy. It is a good time for business success if you have grown with your previous cycles. It is a time for being organized, using good judgment, exercising your leadership, being efficient and practical, and thinking big.

Number 9:

As the last period in the cycle, it is a time of endings. You could be ending a relationship or a job, cleaning out your old stuff, or changing old attitudes and habits. You are letting go of conditions that no longer serve you, and sometimes it’s a relief and sometimes it’s unpleasant. In the case of Personal Years, you are preparing to start all over again with the next number 1 period.

Number 11/2:

This is an illuminating and inspiring time full of high energy and deep sensitivity. It is a time to evaluate your motives and ethics and make adjustments where necessary. You will not be satisfied with casually brushing things off. You will be motivated to be the best you can be, setting new standards of excellence for yourself.

Number 22/4:

This is the period to put your ideas into action. Think big, go after your dreams. Those that involve service to others will be successful. Build something that serves mankind. Take charge and watch your dreams unfold.

Number 33/6:

This is a time for communication and unselfish service. You will be involved in fulfilling responsibilities and duties to friends, family, and community. Your attention will be directed toward benefiting others. Share your love, understanding, inner peace, and serenity. Your reward will be to gain twice as much as you give. Remember to have fun.

All your cycles are calculated from your birth date. If you want to know how to calculate your own cycles, visit https://youwerebornthatway.com/about/, where you can learn about my book, You Were Born to Succeed: Finding Your Purpose through Numerology. It’s easy to order, and it will show you how to calculate all the numbers for your Chaldean Soul Chart, plus a lot more about what it means to be a spiritual being having a physical experience.

It’s been fun to share the elements of numerology with you in this series. I hope you’ve gained a better understanding of this dynamic and practical occult science. And I hope you’ve begun to see it as a powerful tool you can use to help you live the life of success and happiness you were meant for.

What are your thoughts about this series?

You Are More Than You Think You Are

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Your Spiritual Core – Your Outer Life

You are already more than you ever dreamed you could be. Hidden deep within you are secrets that will amaze you if you take the time to uncover them. You have more potential within you than you will ever express, and that’s a good thing because it means you have more choices than you ever thought possible.

If your wisdom was a well, you would never get to the bottom of it. When Socrates said, “Know thyself,” that’s what he was talking about. You have within you everything you will ever need to lead a life of joy and fulfillment. All you need to do is bring it forward.

There’s a tool for every job. Just as plumbers use wrenches, carpenters use hammers, and artists use brushes, Chaldean numerology is a tool you can use to help you access the secrets of your soul.

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Your Outer Life number indicates the way others see you and the way you live your life – what I call your life style. Your Outer Life number reveals your behavior patterns, the physical expression of your life, your personality, and these elements influence the way others react or respond to you.

Interpretations

Number 1:

Because you are independent and capable, people look to you for leadership. You like action and don’t spend time with small talk when there is work to be done. Since your ideas are so unique, you will have to stand up for them all your life. Living on the leading edge, you must manifest your own vision. The world just hasn’t caught up to you yet.

Down side: people may find you selfish, pushy, impatient, and domineering.

Number 2:

You are warm, friendly, and helpful; you get along with all kinds of people, and you can fit in anywhere. You instill cooperation in others. Yours is a life of partnership. People are the center of your life.

Down side: you can be indecisive, undisciplined, timid, the victim, and dependent on others for approval.

Number 3:

People see you as outgoing, cheerful, and expressive, a talker; you are active, determined, sociable, and popular. You seem to have no worries.

Down side: you can be a scatterbrain, disorganized and ineffective because you spread yourself too thin.

Number 4:

You are seen as disciplined, organized, dependable, practical, conservative, thorough, a hard worker. People respect you because they can count on you. You give the impression of orderliness in every facet of your life. Your presence reassures others.

You can be narrow-minded, stubborn, inflexible, nervous, close-minded, and difficult to work with.

Number 5:

People see you as outgoing, sociable, cheerful, enthusiastic, an adventurer, risk-taker, dynamic, magnetic, attractive, gracious, and carefree. You are the life of the party. One never knows what you will do next.

Down side: you can be seen as loud, boastful, startling, bizarre, and irresponsible.

Number 6:

People like to be around you because you project a sense of serenity and harmony. You are outgoing and friendly in a dignified way, even at a party. You make people feel welcome wherever you are. People come to you for advice. Your life revolves around family.

Down side: you can be a worrier, interfering, overbearing, self righteous, and careless about your appearance and your environment.

Number 7:

People find you gracious and friendly. You can be reserved and aloof, as well. You are curious and are good at finding things out. You are unconventional, and your life is unusual in some way. Perhaps you collect butterflies or participate in theater as a hobby.

Down side: you can be exclusive, snobbish, judgmental, secretive, and elusive. No one can pin you down.

Number 8:

People see you as dynamic, energetic, friendly, persuasive, and confident. You emanate personal power, strength, and success. You automatically assume leadership, and like to be in charge.

Down side: you can be dictatorial, impatient, scornful of others, and demonstrate a king-sized ego.

Number 9:

You are seen as sincere, friendly, outgoing, enthusiastic, strong, charming, compassionate, a magnetic personality. People are drawn to you because they sense you genuinely care about them. You seem to always be surrounded by people.

Down side: you can be overly emotional, trying to solve everyone’s problems because you want to fix them. You can also be irresponsible, indecisive, and impractical.

Number 11/2:

Others are inspired by you and see you as original, having avant garde ideas. You are artistic, creative, humanitarian, unique, inventive, idealistic, a dreamer. People are drawn to you and are fascinated by your message.

Down side: you can be egotistical, shallow, uninterested in the opinions of others, and an impractical dreamer, accomplishing nothing.

Number 22/4:

People see you as a powerful, practical humanitarian who can make dreams come true. You use your skills and expertise to help others and make the world a better place. People trust you and are confident that you have their highest interests at heart.

Down side: you can be a know-it-all and look down on others. You can also lack confidence in yourself to such a degree that your power is completely hidden.

Number 33/6:

People see you as a giver. You are outgoing, entertaining, dramatic, a lover of children and animals. People are attracted to you because they can feel your kindness, generosity, and genuine caring. It seems your house is always full of people.

Down side: you tend to take on the problems of others rather than helping them solve their own. You get stuck in their stuff, like Brer Rabbit to the Tar Baby, sacrificing yourself because you don’t understand the difference between being a servant and being of service.

Why is your Outer Life number important? Like all the other numbers in your Chaldean Soul Chart, it deepens your sense of self and validates the message your soul is whispering to you, showing you who you are. You know – that still, small voice within.

What is your soul whispering to you?

Your Inner Desire

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Your Spiritual Core – Your Inner Desire

Your Inner Desire number represents your motivation, the inner you, your heart’s desire, what you want more than anything else, and it is fueled by your feelings. I think of it as your ultimate comfort zone. When you are acting from your Inner Desire, you feel a deep sense of security and excitement at the same time. Your world is in harmony and you feel a self-confident sense of belonging.

Interestingly, this is the only part of yourself that you can hide from the world. If you are afraid of what others may think or if you are living someone else’s version of your life, you will keep your Inner Desire bottled up in order to be accepted. If this is you, you can use this as a golden opportunity to start building self-confidence and living a more authentic life by allowing the expression of your Inner Desire.

Here’s how one person found a way to express his Inner Desire number. All his core numbers, except one, represented conservative qualities of responsibility, hard work, consistency, and single-mindedness in achieving his goals. The one exception to these qualities was his Inner Desire number, which was 5. The five in his life gave him the desire for freedom, adventure, change, and risk-taking. His heart’s desire seemed out of alignment with his life and the expectations others had of him.

He found an outlet for this complete contrast in his makeup by driving a sports car and having a career in which he enjoyed enough freedom within the structure of his industry that he was able to maintain his responsibilities without feeling unduly restricted. His ultimate goal was to retire before the age of 50, and his self-discipline enabled him to express his Inner Desire in ways that served his ultimate goal. Once he achieved this goal, his intention was to have even more freedom and adventure in his life by making a second career out of his hobby and taking adventure vacations with his family.

The key to a fulfilling life is being who you truly are deep down in your soul. Numerology helps you discover the message your true Self is carrying for you and guides you on your way to living that message.

Your true Self cannot be suppressed. When it is not expressed consciously, it will emerge negatively in relationship problems, money problems, and health problems. This is the Real You insisting on being recognized. By allowing your true Self to unfold, you are automatically living your Life Purpose.

rsz_1inner_youInterpretations

Number 1:

You want independence; you like action and accomplishment; and you want to be unique, creative, not one of the crowd. You would rather work alone, but if you must work with others, you want to be in charge. You like to start things, but often get bored before you finish them.

Down side: you can be impatient, bossy, arrogant, conceited, critical, selfish, and outspoken. You tend to put pressure on yourself by holding yourself to impossible standards. You will be more successful if you learn to be diplomatic and tactful.

Number 2:

You are thoughtful, loving, devoted, and loyal; you love the comfort of a nice, soft chair and camaraderie with friends and loved ones. You want peace and harmony more than anything. You are sensitive to the feelings of others and have psychic ability, especially when it comes to knowing how people really feel. You would rather be in the background than at the head of the line. You are contented with the little things and don’t need ambitious dreams to motivate you.

Down side: you tend to let people run over you because you crave peace at any price. You don’t let people know what you want because you think it might inconvenience or displease them. You can be overly emotional, taking everything personally.

Number 3:

You love to express yourself through speaking, writing, or acting. Your goal is to be happy, and you love to make other people happy. You are an optimist and, if you worry, it’s not for long. You are loving, outgoing, and affectionate. You love to entertain, to be entertained, and to have a lot of friends. You are creative, artistic, and you like to be surrounded by beauty.

Down side: you can be a drama king/queen. You are so versatile you can end up scattering your energy in all directions with your fingers in too many pies. Develop tolerance and patience.

Number 4:

Your greatest desire is for structure, steadiness, and routine. You are practical, analytical, reliable, orderly, and methodical. You are loyal and honest, and respect these qualities in others. You like details, and you like to work with your hands. You have self-discipline and are not afraid to discipline others.

Down side: you can be inflexible, stubborn, a perfectionist, impatient with those you perceive as undisciplined or disorganized. You can be narrow-minded, unwilling to change or try something new, even if it’s for the better.

Number 5:

Your greatest desire is for freedom. You like variety, adventure, travel, new places, and new faces. You are versatile, clever, witty, a good mixer. You dislike routine and are not a good candidate for a desk job. You are outgoing and magnetic.

Down side: You can be stubborn when you perceive others trying to limit your freedom.  You waste time by trying to prove you cannot be controlled. Remember, real freedom is living in alignment with your spirit. Excess of all kinds is another stumbling block for you.

Number 6: Your greatest desire is to have love, justice, and harmony in the world. Home, family, and community are vital to you. You are a loyal friend and a devoted family member. You love to counsel others, to advise and guide people through their troubles. You are happiest when someone is in trouble and you can open your door and your heart to them.

Down side: you tend to become emotionally involved in other people’s troubles, worrying about them and creating stress for yourself. You can be stubborn, interfering, and self righteous when it seems others are not taking your advice.

Number 7: You are curious and seek knowledge. You love mystery, and seek to understand the unknown, whether in the field of science or spirituality. You have an inner knowing that guides you through life. You can be quiet and reserved, but you are not conventional.

Down side: you can be high strung and hard to get along with because of your psychic
sensitivity. You are like a radio, broadcasting your energy outward and picking up static along with clear information. You need to allow time to be alone each day in order to recharge your batteries and quiet the static.

Number 8:

You love power, material possessions, and accomplishment. You are a born leader, and you thrive in the director’s chair. You like high quality and do not settle for second best. You have good judgment and a sense of fairness that allows you to get the most out of your employees/team members without seeming to boss them around. You keep your eye on the big picture and find others to take care of the details.

Down side: you can be a tyrant. Usually it’s because you are putting so much pressure on yourself you forget that you are working/living with actual people who can help you if you treat them nicely.

Number 9: Love for humanity drives you. You dream of helping mankind in a big way. You are the universal big sister or big brother; kind, understanding, compassionate, always willing to help. People are more important to you than anything.

Down side: You can be impractical and indecisive. Dreaming is a wonderful thing, but you need to put food on your table, too. You can get bogged down in self-pity when you discover some people don’t respond to the love you have for them.

Number 11/2:

You are inspired by the spiritual, but you are not religious; you love to explore the unseen. You are idealistic and see the world as full of beauty and infinite potential. You are a champion of the individual, and you long to inspire people to achieve their dreams. You have creative, unconventional ideas, and need to find ways to apply them in practical ways that serve humanity.

Down side: you tend to love ideals more than people. As you are able to cultivate unconditional love for yourself just as you are, you will cease judging others for their perceived failings. You can be stubborn, hasty, and domineering. Use diplomacy in communicating with others.

Number 22/4:

Your passion is to make dreams come true. You have high ideals, a great understanding of the spiritual and physical worlds, and have the practical know-how to manifest dreams on the physical plane. You love people, and you are a kind and patient leader.

Down side: your desire for perfection can alienate people. You are susceptible to the down side of the number 4. Have faith in yourself and your abilities.

Number 33/6:

Love and service drive you. You desire that everyone know how magnificent they are and how much they are loved by the Creator. You can see the good in everyone, no matter what others may say or think.

Down side: you tend to sacrifice yourself for others, creating trouble in your own life. Take time to give yourself the comfort you offer others.

Please keep in mind that these interpretations are brief in order to keep these posts as short as possible. My book, “You Were Born to Succeed,” goes into more detail.

Do you see yourself in any of these numbers? I’d love to have your comments.

Next time, Your Outer Life – how you look to others, the style of your life.

You Are More than You Think You Are

Beginning a new series of articles about you – an adventure into your soul using the ancient science of Chaldean numerology to help you see the magnificence of who you really are.

This is a pretty long post, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it shorter. If you hang in there until the end I think you’ll be glad you did .

My experience as someone who was stumbling through a life that didn’t fulfill me and eventually as a spiritual teacher, counselor, and soul-centered psychotherapist has taught me that we humans are much more than we think we are. We have wisdom beyond our imaginings and the power to create the lives we’ve always wanted. We are here to wake up to our own wisdom and to the limitless possibilities we have before us.

We are here to be happy – not at the expense of others, but as a consequence of the unfoldment of our innate wisdom and talents. We were truly born to succeed by paying attention to our inner nature – by following those inner promptings that lead us to act on the talents we possess. This is true success – from the inside out.

My passion concerns the invisible part of us, our feelings and thoughts, our inner awareness, why we are here and where we came from. Many years ago, I began to investigate esoteric sciences, psychology, and mysticism to find answers. As I progressed in my search, my life changed. I found myself on a path of discovery that excited me. I was waking up and getting happy.

In these weekly articles, I’m going to share how Chaldean numerology helped me change my life. I hope you will find value in my experiences. I want you to experience fulfillment and happiness from the inside out. I want you to discover the brilliance of your innate wisdom and learn to trust that you know what’s best for you.

If there’s something in these articles that’s too far out for you to embrace, just skip it and move on. Everyone’s path to inner wisdom is different, so choose what makes sense to you and leave the rest.

Some Ideas that Make Sense to Me

You are a soul with a physical body – not a body with a soul. You are a spiritual being in a physical world, here to experience life as a fulfilling adventure. The inner you and outer you are irrevocably connected. Your outer life is a reflection of your inner consciousness. You are perfect as you are, even with your so-called faults.

You chose to be here at this very time in the very place you are right now, in the very conditions you are experiencing right now, whether you love, or not, your present circumstances. This is a tricky concept because we tend to automatically make ourselves wrong or blame others for the so-called bad in our lives. But what if you are infinitely wiser and more powerful than you have ever imagined? What if you chose the stuff you don’t like to teach you something about yourself?

When you go walking along a beautiful path in the woods and come upon an obstacle, maybe an overhanging bush or some tangled brush, do you blame the path for putting it in your way? Probably not. You find a way around it or cut the brush back and continue on. We all have challenges. If we learn to see them as opportunities to strengthen ourselves, doors of mastery we never imagined open for us.

Who Are You?

You are a powerful and deliberate co-creator with Spirit. You have created everything in your life in service to your spiritual growth. By going toward that which fascinates you, ignites your passions, and makes you happy, you are growing, getting happier, and automatically being of service to everyone around you. By finding ways to resolve your challenges, you are automatically creating opportunities of mastership for yourself and everyone around you.

Science is discovering that you did not come into this life as a blank slate. As an infinite being, you were born with all the wisdom you have gained through lifetimes of experience. You have co-created with Spirit the perfect plan for your life. You already know your life plan, but have forgotten all or part of it.

My Profound Experience

During my search for answers, I was drawn to study numerology and discovered the ancient esoteric science called Chaldean numerology. Its origins are traced all the way back to the beginning of civilization. I tested it on myself and many others against other numerology systems and found that my subjects and I resonated most to the Chaldean system. We felt it not only described us more accurately, but it clicked inside us like a key opening a door. I remember when I had that profound and powerful experience – I felt my life open up; I felt so comforted and reassured that I cried.

I discovered that Chaldean numerology reveals the life plan we have forgotten. I got so excited about it I included it in my psychotherapy practice. I developed what I call the Chaldean Soul Chart. It reveals the deep wisdom of your brilliant, best Self. It reveals the spiritual anatomy of your life – what you came to do, how you chose to do it, your past, present, and future, your strengths, talents, challenges, and any unfinished business you may have.

Here’s what it looks like.

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During the next few weeks, I’ll fill out the chart step by step, showing you a fictional Chaldean Soul Profile to give you a peek at what you can learn about yourself.

As you can see, in each section of the chart there is a space for a number. Each number has a meaning that reveals your inner and outer qualities. All the numbers combined reveal the life you have chosen to live.

Next week we’ll begin our journey through the chart. You may want to make a copy of it so you can follow along in the coming weeks. See you then, and congratulations for hanging in there.

7 Tips for Spirituality

Are you wondering exactly what spirituality is? Everyone wants to be more spiritual but many don’t know how to go about it. It’s actually simple, and this exciting article describes steps you can take to create more spirituality and peace of mind in your life. You’re probably doing some of them already.

I just had to share it with you.

7 Tips For Spirituality, Making A Connection

This article on tips for spirituality came about as the result of work done with people in addiction recovery. The concepts are applicable to most every one however. The question is often asked, what can I do to improve my spirituality?

Addiction can be viewed as a disease of isolation, becoming disconnected to life. Addiction recovery and spirituality can be viewed as the process of becoming connected. The more connections in our lives, the greater the chance of coming into harmony with our surroundings.

There are basically four areas of life, or types of relationships we work toward in becoming connected. Positive spirituality may be viewed as having a healthy relationship and positive self-esteem with yourself, firstly. Secondly there is the relationship you may have or want to develop with whatever form of Higher Power is right for you. It can be God, Nature, a Force of Universe, it is up to you. Please note we are not mixing religion with this idea of spirituality. The third are to develop healthy connections or spirituality is in relationships with family. Lastly is the area which is kind of a catch all, community. This includes casual relationships, work, social situations, etc.

Here are 7 tips for spirituality that are very concrete areas for development. It is very important to be working in each area, set up specific goals that are measurable and achievable. Instead of saying ‘I will start meditating’ say ‘I will spend 10 minutes before breakfast and ten minutes after dinner alone reading the meditation of the day’.
Without further ado:

1. Use personal prayer and/or meditation. This is quiet time to start to develop time for yourself and to assess how things are going in your life.

2. Spend time in groups. This could be attending a worship service, singing in a choir, acting in a play or any group with positive interaction and direction. This enhances our ability to develop relationships with other people.

3. Spend time learning. Grow your mind. This could be taking a few classes at the community college, book study groups, self-help or mental health material.

4. Take time for yourself. Plan a quiet day just for you, away from family and work. Indulge yourself in quiet. There are many retreat areas where you can find peaceful surroundings for recharging yourself.

5. Physical fitness and proper diet. There is a very satisfying feeling that comes from taking care of yourself physically. Get in shape to be the best person you can be.

6. Recreation. Indulge in some activity just for sheer fun. Explore hobbies, sports, whatever floats your boat, but make time for it. Do not plan to ‘get around to it someday’. Just do it.

7. Be of service. Do some volunteer work or engage in random acts of kindness. It really does feel good and build self-esteem to help someone with no thought of reward. This is a cosmic win-win situation.

We hope that gave you some ideas about how to improve your relationships with self and others. The key thing is to take action. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Why not take steps to improve your spiritual connection?

Posted by: Bill Urell

Article Source: http://www.abcarticledirectory.com

 

 

Hidden Passion, Abandoned Dreams

This is the story, in three installments, of how I woke up to my life purpose. I tell it because many people have a similar story – of hiding their passion, of living someone else’s version of their life and suffering inwardly for it. I hope my story inspires readers to follow their heart – to learn from my experience – to stop denying who they are and discover the power that lies within.

Part 1 – Dazed and Confusedquestion-mark-th

Some people come out of the womb knowing what their purpose in life is. They don’t even think about it. From wordless toddler hood they live and breathe their passion. But I didn’t have a clue about mine. I was worried by the time high school graduation rolled around. I thought by that time I should have a direction for the rest of my life.

 My up-bringing was no help (so I thought at the time). My sister and I were raised by an abusive mother, physically and mentally bullied into obedience, our self-expression smothered. Our father was the one who held the love in our family and, being the typical breadwinner of the 1950s when I grew up, didn’t have a clue what went on at home when he was at work.

 At that time, by graduation from high school boys were expected to know what they were going to do for the rest of their lives. Girls were supposed to get married and have babies, but I didn’t want to get married, much less have babies. When I made the mistake of mentioning this to my mother, she came back with, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I knew there was something more compelling for me, but I didn’t know what it was. I went to college and majored in Fine Arts, hoping for an answer.

 While I loved art work, I was enthralled by the mind; by what makes people tick. One of the most gripping books I read in my early teens was The Snake Pit, a novel about the use of shock treatments for mental illness in the 1940s and ‘50s, which I found both frightening and fascinating.

Even more fascinating to me were psychic phenomena. What was psychic awareness? Where did it come from? I wanted to be psychic. There wasn’t much information about psychic awareness or intuition back then, and the books I found were sensationalist, full of drama and dire warnings.

I was looking for something educational during a time when the subject was taboo. The closest I got to actual psychic phenomena was at high school sleepovers where my friends and I would use a Ouija board, conduct séances, or try to make a table tip, but nothing ever happened. According to what I learned years later, we were lucky.

My most heart-felt pursuits were not taken seriously. I was told I would never be able to make a living with art work. (Funny, I had never heard anyone say the same thing to a boy). And psychic studies were completely ridiculous. The only career open in that field was giving psychic readings in your living room, which would guarantee poverty and ruin your reputation, according to the values in my world. I think my parents paid for my college education believing I would eventually come to my senses and get married. They were right about one thing.

Even though my belief in myself was almost nil, I hoped that somehow I would succeed in life. Because of my interests, I felt like a fish out of water, a lost soul with no clue how to find her way. To compound my frustration, I eventually allowed myself to be talked out of pursuing my dreams and into getting married – a big mistake (except for the birth of my son), but I was a pleaser, and I was good at it.

 Next time, I get a wake-up call.

Hidden Passion, Abandoned Dreams – Part 2

Through the Wringer

 After years of abuse growing up, coupled with the self-betrayal of marriage, I had my first anxiety attack, maybe the most frightening experience of my life. I was on a bus, when suddenly an intense fear consumed me, flooding every cell in my body. My heart beat like a jackhammer, and I was afraid it would fail any second. I could hardly breathe. The thought that I was going to die right there on the bus in front of everyone added utter humiliation to my living nightmare. (I’m from New England, where calling attention to oneself in public is not done). Desperately, I held on to consciousness, managing to take in a little more air with each breath. I stoically retained my calm demeanor during this assault. The attack finally passed, and I never mentioned it to anyone. Instead, I lived in fear of another one.

 There were two more attacks before I finally told someone about them – my family doctor, who had no idea how to help me. No one knew what an anxiety attack was back then. That’s when I told my husband and my family that I was having problems, and went into psychotherapy. There was no discussion and no open support from my husband and family because we were all too afraid to talk about it. I was in therapy for about a year, and it helped me release a fraction of the fear that I would become well acquainted with in future years. I was also pregnant.

 I was working as a fabric designer and my husband was working on his Masters degree at that time. Shortly before he received his degree, our baby was born. Before our son was a year old, we were driving from Columbus, Ohio, to Lafayette, Louisiana, in our used car, whose breaks failed on a hill in downtown Cincinnati, lugging a U-Haul trailer filled with the few possessions we had. We were on our way to my husband’s first job as an art instructor at Southwest Louisiana State College.

I became a stay-at-home mother, a welcome change from working for the first five years of my marriage. I loved taking care of my adorable son and having coffee with the other young faculty wives. But the day we moved into our rented house, I remember standing in the kitchen feeling doomed by the thought of cooking three meals a day, every day for the rest of my life. It was beyond depressing. So I explored new recipes to keep myself from sinking beneath the waves of utter boredom and burning resentment. I learned to bake bread, to venture beyond my traditional family food ways in the meat and potatoes department, and my next door neighbor taught me to cook wonderful Cajun food.

I had all kinds of time for art work, but serious research into psychic awareness gradually took over. While my husband was at work and my son was napping, I learned from books as much as I could about psychic phenomena and the mysteries of the mind.

 Some of the most important books to me at that time were Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a successful cosmetic surgeon who was inspired to stop treating “outer scars” and treat “inner scars” instead after observing that his clients’ new faces weren’t helping them feel better about themselves; The Betty Book by Stewart Edward White, Western Adventure author, in which he wrote about his wife Betty’s development as a psychic medium; and The Sleeping Prophet by Jess Stern, the biography of a farm boy, Edgar Cayce, who became a renowned psychic medium and healer, and whose readings have been archived in the most massive collection of psychic information ever obtained from a single source by the Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.) in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

 From books written by the celebrity mystic, Chiero, who was popular in the early 20th century, I learned palm reading, astrology, and numerology, which, oddly enough, didn’t impress me then. Guess I had other things to learn before tackling numerology. Again through a book, I took up hatha yoga and loved the energy I received from the refreshing and strengthening exercises that created serenity within. From another book I learned astral travel, exploring life by projecting my awareness beyond my body.

 No one else was interested my far-out ventures. I was alone in my self-created mystery school; a mystic unaware. I searched for formal training in the psychic arts, but was unable to find a trustworthy program devoid of sensationalism.

Eventually there was a divorce. Instead of feeling grief, I felt relief. I was free! It was during the ‘60s (no, I didn’t become a hippie), and I searched for training in psychic awareness, which was more accessible then. I was also learning how to be a single mother at a time when my sister was the only other single mother I knew. We were the first divorcees in the history of our family, and among the first in an escalating wave of divorce in the U.S. that continued into the 1980s.

Next time, things begin to look up.

Thank You!

A short, sweet post to let you know that I am one of the winners of The Authors Show contest and will be included in the 2012 publication of “50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading.” My sincere thanks to all those who voted for me. Without you it would not have been possible. Much success to you!

Winner!

A Blast of Enlightenment

English: Tibetan endless knot Nederlands: Tibe...
English: Tibetan endless knot Nederlands: Tibetaanse Oneindige knoop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I subscribe to “Notes from the Universe” and receive an inspirational email from the Universe every day. The impact of this one was so profound for me, I just had to share it with you. I hope it may help all who read it re-discover the magnificent spiritual being that you are and the importance of your presence in the world. Forthwith, this wealth of wisdom.

The Top 10 Things About Time and Space That Most People Seem to Forget

10.    You chose to be here and you knew what you were doing.

9.    There are no “tests” and you’re not being judged.

8.    Everyone’s doing their best, with what they know.

7.    You already have whatever you’re looking for.

6.    You are of the Divine, pure God, and so is everyone else.

5.    Religion needs spirituality; spirituality does not need religion.

4.    You’re naturally inclined to succeed – at everything you do.

3.    You happen to life, life does not happen to you.

2.    Order, healing, and love belie every moment of chaos, pain, and fear.

1.    Following your heart is the best way to help others.

The truth shall set you free,

The Universe

To explore more, visit www.tut.com

Ghosts In Everyday Life

Ghost?!
Image via Wikipedia

First, it’s good to be back. Thanks to the generosity of good friends, I have a new (to me) laptop to add to my collection. Now I can send my other two computers to the doctor without missing a beat. Life is good.

This will be the first in a series of articles on ghosts and my experience in dealing with them. Ghosts are a real phenomenon, and I hope to show them as a natural part of life and as something we don’t need to fear. I see the fear of ghosts as a result of ignorance and misunderstanding. Ghosts are sensationalized in the media and in literature out of fear and also because ghost stories make good money. Even reality TV exploits the fear of ghosts.

What is a ghost?
Very simply, a ghost is a soul without a body; someone who has passed on from this world. I don’t like to say “died” because they are very much alive in spirit. The only difference between you and a ghost is your body. When most people pass on, they go on to other opportunities in other dimensions. To illustrate this, let me tell you a story.

Moving On
After my father passed on, I dreamed about him from time to time. In some dreams, he gave me advice. Other dreams showed him working with lots of people. In one, he was carrying boards, like 2X4s, from one place to another. He was part of a large group of people who were building a house, or houses. These dreams meant that he was getting ready for his next opportunity in spiritual growth and in service to others.

The most profound dream I had, about five years after he passed on, seemed to be the last in a series. He and I were flying over rooftops. It was dark and I was in the lead. Finally we came to our destination, a house in the suburbs of a city. He stayed there, and I flew on and the dream ended. When I woke up, I knew there was something important about that dream. In meditation I received the message that I had led him to his next earthly lifetime. He was to be the youngest child of four (a boy) in a family located somewhere in France. This, after a lifetime of responsibility in which, from childhood, he took care of his sisters and his father after his mother died and became an exemplary husband and father after an adventurous life at sea.

My understanding is that people don’t usually take up another lifetime on earth so soon after leaving the last one. But I remember lifetimes with my father in which we were members of religious communities. It could be that he had had many lifetimes in spiritual environments and was ready to come back sooner than most.

Getting Stuck
Some people pass on in a state of confusion. They are not aware that they no longer have a body. They are trying to experience life as if they are still in the physical, and they become stuck in the patterns that were most influential in their physical lives. Any disabilities or diseases they had while in the physical can attract them to the places or people who were instrumental in their treatment. People can get stuck in the places where they died; for example, hospitals, houses, battle fields, and other places. If someone passes on in a high state of stress, it increases the possibility of becoming attached to the place where the incident occurred.

These are the souls we think of as ghosts. We have learned, through fear, to give them power they do not have. In reality, we have the power to influence them. For example, in my beginning days as a student of metaphysics, I was working for a man who told me he had a ghost in his house. He wasn’t afraid of the ghost, but it was upsetting his life by moving things around in the house, and he didn’t know what to do. I suggested that he tell the ghost (I don’t remember if he had a name for it or not) it could stay in the house as long as it behaved with respect for his property. If the ghost wasn’t willing to leave things alone, it had to leave. My boss told me the next day that he told the ghost what I had suggested. He didn’t have any more trouble from the ghost after that.

Next time, I’ll talk more about who influences whom, and how.

Live your purpose every day.